While sitting at the computer this morning early, my mind started to wander and think about totally ridiculous things...like my absolute fear of spiders. Now, anyone that knows me, knows that my fear is HUGE!!!! In my mind, there is no
such thing as a "small" spider.....if you can see the damn thing, it's freakin' huge!
For years now, my family has teased me about this, deriving great pleasure in relating spider stories about me and my husband has even gone so far as to make me think that I had one of the things on me. I have always said that if I ever got one of those sneaky bastards in my hair, it would be all over....rubber room, here I come. Let's face it, I couldn't touch the thing to get it out.......eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!
It seems that no matter where I go, if there is a spider, it will search me out and stalk me. On Randy's boat last summer, after I pleaded with him to make sure that it was "spider-free" (yeah, right) and if you have been around the water at all, there are mutant spiders down there, the side of dinner plates. Sure enough, one came crawling out of it's hiding place, right towards me. A scream of untold proportions came out of my mouth as well as a new land speed record recorded on that boat, and I was in the front of that boat in milliseconds. Rodney knew instantly what was going on...... and always looks at the thing and says "aw, that's just a little one" (I can't put my thoughts here, I'm sure you know why)
Then there was the year that those things were especially bad and insisted on building a web in the basement door going out into the driveway on a daily basis. So every morning before going out to my truck, I would have to open said door slowly, and armed with a broom, swat the bastards so I could go out the door. One morning I was running late for work and forgot about the things and flew out the door and forgot to lock it. Turned around to reach inside to turn the lock and one came down to look me right in the eye. I damn near died!!
That night I told Rodney about my harrowing experience and sure enough, the next time we were leaving, he made sure that he was walking behind me and as I was walking thru the doorway, reached up and tapped me on the top of the head, making me think I had one in my hair. I screamed and ran and he stood there laughing his fucking ass off. AND, had to tell damn near everyone he knew, so they could laugh too. It's no wonder I drink......